treesicle

we're really not very bright.

we finally decided today to get our tree (I was convinced that if I stayed angry enough christmas just wouldn't happen this year...but lo and behold the fucking thing showed up, anyway).

its cold as shit, so we get bundled of all bundled up and drag our sorry asses, the prof AND the dogs out to bumblefizzle to tag our tree.

we had either completely forgotten our recent "winter weather events" or...we're just plain dumb.

we're heading on down the highway, over the river, through the woods and past the frozen power lines when I start to get this niggling feeling that sumzhing...just aint right.

glorious winter beauty abounds. an amazing blanket of white as far as the eye can see. trees, shrubs, fields, roads...shiny. amazing. covered in ice.

how long do you cook a christmas tree?

I knew we were making a boo boo, but the car was loaded and I just didn't give a fuck. we picked our three hundred pound ice laden beast, strapped it to the roof of the grocery getter...scratches be damned.

we drug that mother fucker home, rather unceremoniously unloaded it (it's tremendous weight threw oqui about 14 feet when he let loose its bonds) and realized...

we didn't have the hole drilled in the trunk.

yeah. we're focking BRILLIANT.

so the treesicle is on the back porch, nestled snuggly under a tarp with a space heater running full blast for shits and giggles. we attempted to give it a new 'do with a blow dryer and realized...

we aint THAT fucking stupid.

next step is to drag it to the side of the house, fire up the clothes dryer and see if the vent won't do some damage to the ice floe.

if'n we ever get it defrosted...

we still have to figure out how to get that cocksucker to stand.