oqui wants:
-new pants
-snow tires
-a good nights sleep
-the baby and I to be quiet during his fifth feeding in the dead of the night
-vegetables that aren't over-cooked
-and apparently, a skull fracture in the exact shape and size of my ski boot.
gentlemen, here is a bit of sound advice for those of you who either have little ones, or will at some point...
do NOT fuck with their breastfeeding mother.
she is chubby, hormonal and sleep deprived to the point of near-psychosis.
translation: she will stab your bitch ass.
if you cannot be at least helpful (gasp! what is this suki going on about??? a man being helpful in the middle of the night???) then at least do yourself a favor and make an effort to contain your hostility...
lest you find yourself at a 24 hour grocery store, screaming infant in hand, asking the clerk where they keep the infant formula...
'cause your baby momma got sick of your selfish ass and bounced.
3 comments:
Really all oqui wants is sleep.
I can:
work bottomless
ride my bike to work
hold my nose and eat the mushy veggies
and wear my climbing helmet
I would like to think that I am helpful. "I take care of my kids!", "I pay my bills!". I even let my baby momma eat my cookies...both of them.
I just want to sleep enough that during the 8-9 hour days I spend here at work I am not catatonic and can actually perform my profesional duties. I do stuff around the house until 9 or 10 pm, including including helping out.
To suggest to the dedicated readers here that I'm no good and don't do shit is bunk.
Now put on your apron and make me my chicken pot pie!
I'll be home at 5 to change the diapers and eat your cookie. YUM! I like! Very nice!
I have 2 questions.
1. What is the life expectancy of someone who has contracted "Oqui wants"?
2. Your previous post was all about not getting any and now you say "do NOT fuck with their breastfeeding mother". Are you channelling junior or am I misreading the context of the F word?
These are seemingly innocent questions designed to frustrate you in such a way as to allow oqui a vague hope of slipping out the side door without catching a bullet between the shoulderblades.
I love you!
Go mama, GO!
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