for christine...and my emotional health

I'm MAD. (duh)

our pediatric practice is full of a bunch of very sweet doctors led by some seriously misguided policies. AND THEIR OFFICE MANAGER IS A BIIIIIITCH!!!!

there is NO ROOM for discussion of alternative medicine. breastfeeding is given minor lipservice as to the method of choice but then off-handed comments like, "don't listen to La Leche League, they're crazy" are made and formula samples are handed out en masse. my sons allergies and intolerances were repeatedly dismissed (now he's having developmental regression. who do I have to FUCKING SHOOT up in this bitch?) and heaven forbid you're hesitant about vaccinations.

I've been treated like a criminal because of my unwillingness to overload my son's immune system with THREE relatively unproven combination vaccinations at once.

fuck you, doc. we've discussed this at length and basically what I'm hearing from you is two-fold:

1. vaccines are safe. it's what I've been told and I'm buying it, wholesale. research? what research? I've been indoctrinated. I question nothing.

2. no, I'm not willing to take personal responsibility for any harm that may befall your child due to our ridiculously overwhelming vaccine schedule.

ok, doc, so you're worthless to me.

actually, they weren't ENTIRELY worthless. they did initially agree to put him on a modified vaccination schedule...spreading them out. THEN when Oqui took the Prof in for the shot...he came home with three bandages on.

how dare you???? we discussed this over and over and over. you knew my hesitations. we came to an agreement. you fucked me over.

I don't take kindly to be dicked around ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU MAY BE RISKING MY CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT.

fuck you.
fuck you.
fuck you.

did I mention...FUCK YOU?!?!?!


now, here's the best part...I'm not even decrying vaccines as a definite devil. my view point is this...

I don't know.

it's like the greenhouse effect. you choose what you believe, but in all honesty, doing an internet search, reading articles and studies is very likely going to lead you right back to your original belief. it's so contradictory...and science being "science" is inherently skewed. (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON RESEARCH METHODS!!! for my senior honor's thesis in college I tried to debunk the theory of the normal curve (and thereby all statistical analyses based on it) but noone would sign off as my advisor. shocker)...

that being said, I now know I've been going about this all wrong. I'm been trying to relate to pediatricians as scientists ie. people searching for information, when actually...they're just practitioners.

muh bad. you're so busy prescribing antibiotics and shooting kids in the thigh that you forgot to think about the basis for all the treatment decisions you make.

diagnosis is easy. all you have to do is remember what symptom goes with what...

actually DISCOVERING disease/developmental info/treatment standards/etc is hard.

sorry, I thought you might like to try.

so, end result is this. I'm not comfortable subjecting a child with a history of digestive disorders, possible seizures and now speech regression to round after round of immuno-stress.

yeah, he COULD get meningitis...but he could also end up on the autism spectrum, with developmental delays or with a mommy in prison for shanking his doctor.

I'll take my chances with nature instead of the pharmaceutical industry.

but thanks for your concern...

fags.