Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I have come to realize...

1. I have come to realize that my butt: doesn't belong on a white woman

2. I have come to realize that when I talk: I DEMAND TOTAL SILENCE AND YOUR RAPT AND COMPLETE ATTENTION, MAGGOTS!

3. I have come to realize that if I love someone: I'm probably pretty tough on them.

4. I have come to realize that I need: chocolate. lots of chocolate. bitch...where is my motherfucking chocolate?

5. I have come to realize that I lost: my desire to work with children...EVER again.

6. I have come to realize that I hate it when: I accidentally pee a little bit when sneezing.

7. I have come to realize that if Im drunk: I should hide my cell phone lest I start send unclothed pictures to people who REALLY don't wanna see that.

8. I have come to realize that marriage: is complicated...and expensive.

9. I have come to realize that work: is, has been and will always be my nemesis.

10. I have come to realize that I will always be: a big bootied ho.

11. I have come to realize that I like: cursing...alot.

12. I have come to realize that the last time I cried was: yesterday. sleep deprivation makes you whacky.

13. I have come to realize that my cell phone is: never anywhere near me when ringing.

14. I have come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: I'm already bored.

15. I have come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: I should pee...twice.

16. I have come to realize that right now I am thinking about: sleep and peeing.

17. I have come to realize that babies: are vicious lil' rib jabbing gansters.

18. I have come to realize that when I get on blogger: uh, I'm here for the gang bang.

19. I have come to realize that today I will: sit. sweat. plan and stew.

20. I have come to realize that tonight I will: see above.

21. I have come to realize that tomorrow I will: still be bored.

22. I have come to realize that I really want to: HAVE SOME FREEDOM!!! suki needs to travel...like...bad.

23. I have come to realize that working out: will have to wait.

24. I have come to realize that friends: usually DON'T have brownies in their back pockets.

25. I have come to realize that the person who might repost this is: probably wittier than I...and less pregnant.

1 comment:

Big Mike said...

I hope you "came to realize" these things over an extended period of time because I'm quite sure that a single burst of wisdom of that magnitude would probably kill most people.