blue's clues

I said to the dogs, "behave! we're only going to be RIGHT NEXT DOOR. in fact, RIGHT OUTSIDE THIS WINDOW. don't do anything dumb...I can sense your energies."

gave them both dirty looks then left them there, uncrated, to stop in on the neighbors' barbeque.

an hour later...we came home to blue's clues.

the lil' son of a bitch had torn apart not one, but TWO pens (I'm convinced he ate the disposable first, and having not gotten the desired effect (of ink all over the house) dug through drawers, bookbags and attaches until he found a fountain).

living room rug- destroyed.
guest room carpet- stained.
master bedroom carpet- equally stained (yet strategically so, so as to set-up the innocent dog who usually sleeps there).

pawprints EVERYWHERE. (you gotta find the next pawprint. that's the second clue. then you put it in your notebook, cause they're whose clues? blue's clues)

oqui found the first trail leading into our bedroom and called down, "IT WAS COOKIE!" I asked him if she had any ink on her and found it strange that he replied no.

hmmm...pawprints abound, but no ink on the dog??? (then you find the last pawprint. that's our third clue. (blue's clues. blue's clues))

as oqui scrubbed his way through the house, I fed the baby (I ALWAYS feed the baby. feed the baby. feed the baby. nurse the baby. feed the baby. nurse the baby, etc).

he came downstairs (just loudly enough to wake the then sleeping baby) with a dog under his arm and an incriminatingly blue paw held high. (sit down in your thinking chair and think. think. thiiiiiink.)

suspect apprehended. (when you use your mind. take a step at a time. you can do...anything. that you wanna do)

he was tossed in the bathtub with no regard for his debilitating fear of it (he had it coming) and given the scrubbing of his life. and more scrubbing...and scrubbing, scrubbing...

long story short: the dog came somewhat clean, as did the hardwood. the rugs are toast (which certainly won't help me sell this house) and the dogs are goners.


but...it really was kinda funny.