10pm last night: ready for bed. realized the grocery getter needs to be dropped off for (overdue) inspection. awesome.
10:10: look for the monkey to see if she can babysit the prof while we go. find her passed out on the couch. dead asleep.
10:12: get dressed. pack up the prof. not HATING my life, but certainly not LOVING it, either.
10:30: back from dropping off the car. monkey still asleep on couch. me: you need to go downstairs now. her: mmmmfffapahf me: come on. time to go to bed. her: I KNOOOOOW! (with a teenage attitude)
10:30: me: if you don't get your narrow ass off of this couch and down to bed I'm going to rip your face off and eat it in front of your friends! don't you DARE give me an attitude, girlfriend. I'll end you.
10:31: the monkey goes downstairs. I go upstairs to feed the prof and put him to bed.
10:32: my nipples are in excruciating pain. I hate the world and I'm seriously considering joining Al Queda so I can kill shit.
10:45: hear the monkey's music BLARING through three stories of house. proceed to go down there and threaten her life. find music source 6 inches from her head and her...still fast asleep. I hate her just a little.
10:50: sit on couch to relax before bed. eat bowl of rice cereal with rice milk. I hate rice.
11:00ish: Oqui is ready for bed. we go up. he's asleep before I finish peeing.
11:30: still trying to sleep. awesome.
11:50ish: fall asleep.
2:45am: prof wakes up. go in to feed him. remember that I'm in excruciating pain. make mental note to join the irish republican army, too.
3:30ish: back in bed. trying to fall asleep.
4:00: sleeping...until oqui starts yelling in his sleep. add to mental list that joining an ground combat unit of the american armed forces seems like a splendid idea.
4:30: oqui yelling in sleep
5:00: oqui yelling in sleep
5:14, 5:27, 5:32: oqui yelling in sleep
5:45: prof wakes up again. I hate my life.
6:15: done feeding the prof (nipples on fire), ready for sleep. prof reminds me (with an audible fart) that he has yet to figure out the whole toilet thing.
6:20: done changing the prof. REALLY ready for sleep. prof decides he'd rather hold conversation with his toes. great.
6:50: still playing with his toes.
6:57: I've had enough of this shit. unceremoniously plop the prof in the crib and decide its daddy's turn.
6:58: tell daddy its his turn. get attitude.
7:00: fuck it. I'm going back to sleep, let them figure it out for themselves.
7:03: oqui's alarm goes off for the 15th time in the last hour. I'm so beyond angry at this point, I decide it best to feign sleep lest I land myself in the slam for manslaughter.
7:20: oqui returns from his shower to start opening and slamming drawers and closets, banging the iron and ironing board around and just generally not giving a fuck that I've been up for almost two hours.
7:21-7:58: I seethe and fume.
8:00ish: I fall asleep, again.
8:45: phone rings.
8:46: phone beeps for voicemail.
9:14: phone rings again. I answer with every intent of ascertaining the caller's location so that when I wake up...I can go and kill them.
9:15: find out the grocery getter needs tires. me: didn't I get them last year? him: I dunno. me: whatever, just put the fucking things on.
9:15 and 40 seconds: hang up on him.
9:20: still not back to sleep. send oqui text. car needs tires. $550. ready tomorrow.
9:21: phone rings. oqui: bitch, bitch, bitch. moan. seethe. roar. me: I'm sleeping. oqui: check the file for tire receipts! I'm not buying more tires! blah, blah, blah. me: I'm still sleeping. oqui: bitch, bitch, bitch.
9:23: get out of bed (extremely angrified) to check file. no receipt OF COURSE because its in the fucking car.
9:25: baby wakes up from me digging in the files.
9:30: text to oqui. the exact wording escapes me, but it definitely conveyed the fact that I pretty much hate his ever loving guts, despise my life and want, very badly, to murder something...oh yeah...and that the receipt wasn't in the file.
10:44: exhausted...with those floaty thingies on the periphery of my vision. hungry...still hating rice. still in excruciating, mind numbing pain. seriously considering packing a couple of pairs of clean undies and some contact solution and disappearing for a few days...or as long as it takes to get a little sleep...
and possibly some fucking respect for what I'm doing around here.
how long, exactly, does "never gonna happen" take?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
no modest mouse for a suki
the child...is seriously in love with the tata.
no bottles. no cups. no straws. no break.
oqui and the monday night old schoolers (including another Sukey, so I guess my title should've been "no modest mouse for THIS suki) are going to see modest mouse on saturday...and I can't go.
not that I want to go, I actually despise the music, but I'd like to be ABLE to go...
but unless the venue has a "mother's room" for pumping and we suddenly find a lactating babysitter...I'm shit outta luck.
in other news:
I'm currently on the fit diet. actually...that's the f-it diet.
fuck it.
I'm eating anything I want (as long as it doesn't contain gluten, dairy, nuts, soy or berries)...and seeing what shakes out.
so far, not too bad. we've had a few green poos and a bit of crying, but the Prof has also slept 8 hours straight the last two nights.
did I mention that I also lost 5 pounds? I hit the new mother lotto. I'm a bajillionaire.
apparently, all it took was a few (previously suspect) vegetables in my diet.
who'da thunk it?
vegetables make you healthy...and don't actually kill you (or your baby) instantly.
*le gasp*
no bottles. no cups. no straws. no break.
oqui and the monday night old schoolers (including another Sukey, so I guess my title should've been "no modest mouse for THIS suki) are going to see modest mouse on saturday...and I can't go.
not that I want to go, I actually despise the music, but I'd like to be ABLE to go...
but unless the venue has a "mother's room" for pumping and we suddenly find a lactating babysitter...I'm shit outta luck.
in other news:
I'm currently on the fit diet. actually...that's the f-it diet.
fuck it.
I'm eating anything I want (as long as it doesn't contain gluten, dairy, nuts, soy or berries)...and seeing what shakes out.
so far, not too bad. we've had a few green poos and a bit of crying, but the Prof has also slept 8 hours straight the last two nights.
did I mention that I also lost 5 pounds? I hit the new mother lotto. I'm a bajillionaire.
apparently, all it took was a few (previously suspect) vegetables in my diet.
who'da thunk it?
vegetables make you healthy...and don't actually kill you (or your baby) instantly.
*le gasp*
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
giving this alot of thought
I can't seem to figure out what is actually making the Prof sick.
my list of inedibles is ridiculously long, even for this with ridiculously long lists of inedibles.
OBVIOUSLY I'm doing something wrong.
the concept is simple; eliminate all things from your diet that make the baby sick...
then, add things back in one at a time, figuring out what is tolerable and what isn't.
I've been going for two months...or more. who can tell time in turkey and rice?...and have only been able to successfully reintroduce a few things. so many variables.
this is hard.
It took me alot of time to figure out my vitamins, now we're figuring out his meds, and all of a sudden there's a skin rash that makes me think my dogs need a one way ticket to get-the-fuck-out-of-heres-ville.
I do think I might be onto something with gluten, though. alot of our prior failed experiments may've "failed" because of me being an idiot about gluten...apparently, its in EVERYTHING. now I know...kinda, and I'll try those, again.
I also found today that some babies (despite the pediatrician's most sincere assurance to the contrary) have reactions to their vitamins. breastfed babies are supposed to have a supplement for those vitamins that don't pass through the milk. what's a suki supposed to do about that???
so all in all I'm completely flabbergasted, still want ice cream and ate some canned corn to see what happens.
wish us luck.
my list of inedibles is ridiculously long, even for this with ridiculously long lists of inedibles.
OBVIOUSLY I'm doing something wrong.
the concept is simple; eliminate all things from your diet that make the baby sick...
then, add things back in one at a time, figuring out what is tolerable and what isn't.
I've been going for two months...or more. who can tell time in turkey and rice?...and have only been able to successfully reintroduce a few things. so many variables.
this is hard.
It took me alot of time to figure out my vitamins, now we're figuring out his meds, and all of a sudden there's a skin rash that makes me think my dogs need a one way ticket to get-the-fuck-out-of-heres-ville.
I do think I might be onto something with gluten, though. alot of our prior failed experiments may've "failed" because of me being an idiot about gluten...apparently, its in EVERYTHING. now I know...kinda, and I'll try those, again.
I also found today that some babies (despite the pediatrician's most sincere assurance to the contrary) have reactions to their vitamins. breastfed babies are supposed to have a supplement for those vitamins that don't pass through the milk. what's a suki supposed to do about that???
so all in all I'm completely flabbergasted, still want ice cream and ate some canned corn to see what happens.
wish us luck.
Monday, March 2, 2009
my momma and the $85 mystery seed
I love my mom. she made me a super-special-stop-starving-and-barfing-on-gross-food-meal on saturday.
she spent thursday and friday researching and shopping and all day saturday cooking.
I felt human again...all on seven ingredients.
the menu included:
-organic gluten free roasted whole turkey (can you say leftovers?)
-mashed sweet potatoes with olive oil and sea salt
-baked apples and pears
and the piece de resistance...super yummy rice pudding.
it was like christmas (during which I couldn't eat any yummies), new years (during which I couldn't drink), valentine's day (no chocolate for me) and christmas again (what does a suki want? the gift of food) all rolled, baked, wrapped and stirred into one.
I think I gained five pounds and I don't give a surly rat's ass.
I just finished up my left-over turkey and will be done with the rice pudding in....(counting) three and a half bites.
how good to have a belly full on something that doesn't taste like horse piss.
amen, mother....
amen.
she spent thursday and friday researching and shopping and all day saturday cooking.
I felt human again...all on seven ingredients.
the menu included:
-organic gluten free roasted whole turkey (can you say leftovers?)
-mashed sweet potatoes with olive oil and sea salt
-baked apples and pears
and the piece de resistance...super yummy rice pudding.
it was like christmas (during which I couldn't eat any yummies), new years (during which I couldn't drink), valentine's day (no chocolate for me) and christmas again (what does a suki want? the gift of food) all rolled, baked, wrapped and stirred into one.
I think I gained five pounds and I don't give a surly rat's ass.
I just finished up my left-over turkey and will be done with the rice pudding in....(counting) three and a half bites.
how good to have a belly full on something that doesn't taste like horse piss.
amen, mother....
amen.
as for that mystery seed...apparently it snuck its way into our dishwasher's filter, causing Cap'n Ass Crack to come on out and "git 'er done."
$85 later he pulled up his pants (thank god) and produced the offending nougat. we can not for the life of us identify it.
I'm hoping it's of this planet and not some sort of pod thingy...
and that Cap'n 'Crack doesn't have to visit us, again, for a while.
it's rather unnerving when he knows my appliances so well that his first statement upon opening the cabinet is, "oh. I see you got a new garbage disposal."
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