frightened, angry and a little bit confused

I'm having trouble understanding how most people's reaction to the possibility of a c-section is mostly that of "meh."

its a devastating thought to me.

one is every 3-4 American births ends in major abdominal surgery.

what?

there is NO way this is necessary. Induit women would dig a hollow in the snow, squat above it and birth their children unattended.

tribal african and south american women are EXPECTED to birth alone...not waking their husbands until the baby had arrived, then returning to the fields (forests, etc) within a day or two.

of the industrialized nations...the united states has THE WORST infant mortality rates.

what are we doing wrong?

worrying about liability. losing the art of natural birthing. disregarding the fact that women were BUILT to do this...and instead considering everything a complication, hindrance or a "medical issue.". last I checked...women gave birth well before doctors even existed.

birthing a breech baby is becoming a completely lost art in our culture, because no practioner can get malpractice insurance to do it.

a study conducted in Canada within the last few years showed elevated risks to both mother and fetus when the baby was breech and delivered vaginally. the study did not discount first time, at risk mothers or those with other complications or previous c-sections.

in other words...it was biased, uncontrolled and incorrectly interpreted and its now the basis for 'standard' practice in our country.

and its becoming a real pain in my ass (and emotional state).

I'm petrified and incensed that I may be forced to subject myself to major surgery, compromise initial bonding with my child and once again, have my wishes to see this through...completely...without unnecessary intervention or meddling.

I'm capable of this. all women are. why do they keep telling us we aren't???

I'm in the process of writing two birth plans. one for at home...proceeding at home, without intervention. it'll go something like this:

-catch the baby
-give him to me
-have a brownie and a safe trip home

the end.

the second birth plan (the one where we have to go to the hospital) will read more like a protection order, ticking off all the intrusive "preventative measures" I don't want them to subject my child to.

instead of being able to bond with his brand new family...oqui will be forced to assume the role of protector and armed guard assuring that the child never leaves his sight, lest they decide to innoculate, circumcise or give him a bottle...

and I'll be vomitting from anesthesia...

for days.

I feel violated already.

Dr. Elizabeth is confident she'll get the booger turned around...which will be a moot point if today's lab work doesn't bode favorably for me.

I feel beaten up, tired and sore...and as much as I want to focus on the positive, I can't help but be concerned that it's acceptable to unnecessarily cut women in this country.

how can that be?

why are we (women...and all the men who happen to know and care for one) standing for this sort of treatment?