that I've earned myself a mountain biking nickname.
We did the short version of the loop surrounding Blue Marsh today. We cut over at Church Road (saving ourselves 7 miles of hell, from what I understand)...but promptly got lost on side trails and racked up (I'm guessing) another 3 or 4...
long. excruciating. miles.
I watched mile marker 26 pass (minus 7 for the lazies)...and watched. and watched. and watched and sobbed and ached. and watched...and didn't see a trail marker for about 35 minutes.
yeah, we're goombas.
all told it was about 25. my mind and body...
were prepared for 22. the last leg of the ride was sheeer unadulterated torture. I didn't ACTUALLY cry...
but I wanted to.
bad(ly).
*cries now just thinking about it*
about 6 miles in I gave up on climbing.
forever (and ever and ever and...). I took my bike for a nice lazy stroll up the rest of the climbs racking up a whopping 33 1/2 day ride time. awesome. I stopped to eat three times. I stopped four to pee. I stopped twice to check my phone. I stopped once because a rabid groundhog growled at me (the husband said it farted. I think not!). I stopped to tie my shoe. I stopped to read a RedBook. I stopped to commune with nature. I even stopped once because I was tired...
at one point...I had to stop because (and here's where the nickname comes in...) my nose was all cloggy-like. I went for the snot rocket technique...
and missed.
having witnessed the entire operation, my husband has now dubbed me "Captain Snotty"...
and has henceforth named my left foot "the boogie foot."
I wasn't the only one getting a new handle. the husband is now to be referred to exclusively as monkapotamus ("I'm gonna ride it!")
and that's about all there is to that.
We did the short version of the loop surrounding Blue Marsh today. We cut over at Church Road (saving ourselves 7 miles of hell, from what I understand)...but promptly got lost on side trails and racked up (I'm guessing) another 3 or 4...
long. excruciating. miles.
I watched mile marker 26 pass (minus 7 for the lazies)...and watched. and watched. and watched and sobbed and ached. and watched...and didn't see a trail marker for about 35 minutes.
yeah, we're goombas.
all told it was about 25. my mind and body...
were prepared for 22. the last leg of the ride was sheeer unadulterated torture. I didn't ACTUALLY cry...
but I wanted to.
bad(ly).
*cries now just thinking about it*
about 6 miles in I gave up on climbing.
forever (and ever and ever and...). I took my bike for a nice lazy stroll up the rest of the climbs racking up a whopping 33 1/2 day ride time. awesome. I stopped to eat three times. I stopped four to pee. I stopped twice to check my phone. I stopped once because a rabid groundhog growled at me (the husband said it farted. I think not!). I stopped to tie my shoe. I stopped to read a RedBook. I stopped to commune with nature. I even stopped once because I was tired...
at one point...I had to stop because (and here's where the nickname comes in...) my nose was all cloggy-like. I went for the snot rocket technique...
and missed.
having witnessed the entire operation, my husband has now dubbed me "Captain Snotty"...
and has henceforth named my left foot "the boogie foot."
I wasn't the only one getting a new handle. the husband is now to be referred to exclusively as monkapotamus ("I'm gonna ride it!")
and that's about all there is to that.
Looks like this may require surgery...
the husband thinks he popped a nut. I got the point of my seat up my ass when my tights got caught. that groundhog found our address...and a real biker laughed at us.
I'll eat your babies
when we reached the crest of the last hill I tried to shift into something a little more peddle-able when I heard the husband declare "that's it. I'm done peddling for the day!"
good call. eff shifting. we coasted "home".
upon reaching the parking lot I sprawled myself about as flat as a suki can get...and laid there. immobile...for a really long time.
the hub looked at me and said "well, I guess I'm not getting YOU to do this, again"
I was all like: what you talking 'bout turkey??? just cause it was hard (and hurt alot) doesn't mean I didn't love it.
yeah. it was hard. it hurt alot.
I loved it.
4 comments:
nicknames, i have a knack for them, my right brain is always revving.....
I never had a nickname, i was always Frank or Frankie, I've been called other names though, but none of them seemed to stick for more than a few seconds or days....
One of my friends called me a caveman after watching me almost win a mountain bike race years ago, then he watched some old road race and BMX footage of me from.. a really long time ago and I was forever dubbed the caveman, but people still call me frank, they just know I am a caveman.
though at times I admittedly have a cigar stor wooden indian facial expressio when I am daydreaming or concentrating.... eh.. whats in a name anyway.. Mine was originally spelled franch not frank, I started spelling it frank in 4th grade because my teachers called me what rymes with ranch with the ff in front of it instead of what rymes with onk with the fff in front of it..... so, I ask again what;s in a name? besides some letters.... my last name means pirate or gourp of them.. so what;s in a name? I am neither a pirate r group of them, but I am literally known to raise hell and chaos, I like to dress funny, I have long air, I used to wear alot of makeup, I have been in lots of fights, and managed to loose as many as I won, I have been slapped by girls, my father was as scary as I am supposed to be, I have been told I have a mystc about me.. I disagree, I am just me, myths and fables lead most down a dead end road, the real treasure is in seeing it for yourself, not believing stories.. so what's in a name anyway? I know what I am, I am content wth what and who I am, I am content being those 2 things in some sort of dissaranged harmony that seems to organically come together as me.
"Captain Snotty"... good name, it works for now, if you were blowing snot out of your nose and managed to wear it more than 2 times in succession, I would have named you "bullseye" but alas, Captain snotty is good... for now..
what do you want me to explain about the language of MTB-ing.....? let me know, if I can help I will try.
bullseye...
I like it.
Yeah Snotty.... keep at it. It gets easier with time :-)
monkeypotam us is cool too.....
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