they done pushed the suki too far.
now, I gotta go to jail.
today's installment of lunatic and asinine children was...as usual...nearing the point of being utterly unbearable, but at least there was an early dismissal.
thank you, allah. I don't have to kill a 13 year old, today.
I will, however, murder the shit outta one of the contractors next door.
this...for lack of a better explative...sister fucking, shit-headed, dung-dwelling ass eater had the NERVE to catcall one of the neighborhood's many older-than-they-look 12 year old girls.
oh, no, you motherfucking, didn't.
it was (as related to me by my OWN older-than-she-looks 12 year old):
*curse*, baby! you looking *curse*ing fine!!!
yup. he's gonna die.
the girl was terrified, having been suburban-bound her entire life and not privy to the finer points of catcalling, shit-talking and general purpose assholery. I, however, am. and even I know...you don't fuck with someone's daughter in front of their house.
...that is, if you want to keep your testicles. apparently this guy doesn't...
nor will he.
upon my arrival home this afternoon, I found several of the previously mentioned contractors milling about on the neighbor's porch con cigarettes. AND if you've read my blogs, then you know...
I went right on over seeking blood. specifically - testicle blood.
the offending workman was unavailable for comment, but I went to great pains to inform his brethren of a couple of things:
1. this isn't the ghetto. we speak in a friendly (mostly) and cordial (kinda) fashion 'round here. keep your street slang...off my motherfucking street (it is, however, just fine in my blog).
2. if you so much as look sideways at one of our children...you will be leaving here without your juevos. for real.
3. these girls are younger than they look. and if you can't keep your junk firmly lodged in your drawers...don't even look. I will cut your balls off. for real. I'm not playing.
4. if I catch him there tomorrow. he's going to die. for real. for real. I'm really not playing.
I peppered the conversation with references to pitbulls, very large fathers and gun collections.
PLEASE LAWDY, LET ME have the opportunity to school this mickeyflick on the proper treatment of a passing 12 year old.
...and let me have my stun gun with me.
2 comments:
I LOVE YOU! Protective mama, thank god for you doing something a bout it. Sick and so sad so many of these scums do not know (or I suspect would not even care) that these are GIRLS.
Updates on ass kickery, please:)
Somewhere there should be an award for "Blog Post of the Year"
And this one should win, hands down.
I hearby nominate it.
well said.
GD MFin' perverts
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