~snagged~

24.23 miles over the limit. the limit being 25.

they don't call me evil genevil for nothing.

mandatory six month suspension of driving privileges for exceeding the speed limit by more than 16 miles per hour (he showed me the statute). an additional six month suspension for the accumulation of points that the wreckless driving charge would've added, additional fines for not having my license AND insurance card (I was 1 for 3 when I found the registration, at least)...and at least a doubling of my insurance premium.

thankfully for me...I'm a girl. not that my itty bitty boobies did me any favors...homeboy said he was looking out for my husband, though. wouldn't want HIM to have to pay my extra car insurance. ha! I OBVIOUSLY look like a no-income-having irresponsible mofo. if it looks like a slacker, quacks like a hippy...let its husband pay the insurance (or it gets the hose...)

I got away with failure to obey a traffic control device (like I usually do), no points, a good lecturing (and quite the plea to my better judgement), a $107 fine, and fourteen questions about climbing...cause I was pulled over, of course IN THE CLIMBING GYM PARKING LOT.

I shit you not. I drove at least 17 hours last week...most of it over the speed of 90...and managed to finally get snagged 1/billionth of a mile from the climbing gym, today. I had the kids (bayl and alann) in the car, STUFFED with climbing gear, which probably didn't hurt my flighty fun-loving young mother who would NEVER intentionally endanger another's children by driving wrecklessly cause.

I got the usual "do you have any idea how fast you were going?" I gave the usual "nope, but I'm guessing it was a bit too fast, huh?" followed by my award winning grin and blowjob. (kidding. at least on the blowjob, anyway)

he gave the "license, registration and insurance please"

and I, of course, did the obligatory search for the items I KNEW weren't there. they're never there. I always PUT them there...but, of course, they're never there. he knew something was up when I rattled off my driver's license number to him, later pointing out that I'm on my third dup. I was like...yeah. I lose that alot. he was like...yeah, I noticed.

he was super good natured. took his time looking me up and trying to scare me...all the while I'm cleaning out the grocery getter. stacking gear on the ground. collecting trash. noticing I still have "SHORTY" scrawled across my rear window. wiping the windows down. checking the headlights...all as if I WASN'T boxed in by a police cruiser, lights flashing, patrons curiously peeking through the door, co-workers gossiping about how I must be out there grabbing my ankles.

did I say co-workers? I think that was alanna, actually.

so I'm still waiting...now I'm texting the hub that I'm in the process of getting $107 fine (not my first. I could've written the ticket for him), checking all my voicemail and planning next weeks menu (mcdonald's, arby's, wendy's, isaac's, shephard's pie, power bars).

I just couldn't bring myself to be upset. I drive like a bat outta hell and knew my kop karma wouldn't hold out forever. I thought I was going to bite it in new york state when a cop flew up on me lights blazing at 87. fortunately for me...

there was another asshole before me going faster.

faster than me? yeah...

he must've been REALLY cruising.

what an asshole!