12 easy steps to living it up suki-style.
1. set an alarm every two hours. wake up or stop whatever you're doing and have someone yell at you for 20 minutes.
2. eat nothing but chicken, rice products, applesauce and salt for two months. do so while cooking foods that you can't (but want to) eat for the other members of your family.
3. don't exercise for a year and gain ten pounds.
4. cut off your hair and throw out all of your clothing except for your 3 least comfortable pairs of pants.
5. lose all motivation, creative, physical and otherwise. don't care that its probably hormonal or just sleep dep. feel bad about it, anyway.
6. stop drinking alcohol.
7. stop having sex.
8. once or twice a week give someone you love rat poison to eat.
9. quit your job and stop calling your friends because you have nothing positive to talk about.
10. see how long it takes for all of your friends to stop calling you.
11. make someone else you love feel rejected and frustrated.
12. have 3 months of nausea, three months of fatigue, three months of stretching and discomfort, then 3 months of breast pain.
et VOILA! chances are after 3 or 4 days...
your attitude will suck worse than mine, but on the bright side...
at least we'd have something to talk about then.
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