porta-baby

the Prof had a busy weekend (and subsequently...so did we).

we went shopping friday night.
saw the cranial sacral therapist saturday morning.
went to a cocktail party saturday night.
and went to the climbing gym and grocery shopping on sunday.

he did really well until that last bit. there are limits to his patience and tolerance...and it appears that he just isn't going to tolerate a climbing gym.

ha! figures...that's the one place I want to hit most often.

I'm weak and found climbing waaaaaaaaay harder than I remember. harder than I can even imagine remembering. harder than when I first started, even.

I'm chalking it up to nursing hormones, lack o' sleep and an awful diet.

I hereby give myself one whole year to regain my former strength. I initially gave myself 4 months (2 of them recovery and 2 to start whooping ass, again)...but it just aint working out that way.

the Prof says no. I have no choice but to oblige. it's not entirely his fault, though. I'm incapable of focusing on more than one major life "thing" at a time...and since baby comes first, training and "going hard" will have to go later.

I can't focus on pushing the envelope when my boobs are leaking and the baby's whining. when I climbed before, I put my whole entire being into it. I climbed until I ached...and I did it frequently (funny that I was still just average at it any way, huh?). I was happy when it was a lifestyle for me, but I'm not feeling it so much as an afterthought...hence the year.

I figure in a year, he'll be slightly less demanding of my energies and I can finally take a day here and there to go get bloodied up. I used to define my life through climbing. I didn't go to school because it would cut into my climbing time. I wouldn't commit to family functions because if the weather was good I was going to be out of town. I was happy with those trips being my central focus.

I miss it, but its worth the sacrifice (at least at this very moment, while he's napping)...

but I'm not gonna lie...I feel a little empty without pursuing a physical passion (not sex, you fiends). martial arts, skiing, figure skating, climbing, and to a lesser extent, riding have all played major roles in my physical and emotional well-being in the past. not having a life sport is kind of a drag.

I could take some lame ass kickboxing classes or join a faggy gym...but fitness alone isn't what I'm trying to get out of this. I always found "hitting the gym" a poor excuse for "honing my skills." I want to train for the sake of getting better at something, attaining a physical goal...

not just to tighten up my ass and loosen up my jeans.

so, I guess I'll just have to keep eating rice and turkey, being pudgier than I'm comfortable and wait out the winter...and the baby.

I can always get back into those 3's, and more importantly, get my muskles back, later.



...who knows, maybe the lil' booger will LOOOOOVE going to the crags?