goooooooooooooooooooooooooal!

had a strange dream. I was somehow, somewhere...playing soccer.

I was goalie (see? even in my dreams I don't fucking run) and was being charged steam train style by an uber good, aggressive as hell and kinda cocky european dude (read: long, greasy curls and hepatitis b).

I knew I was going to be anhilated. there was no question he was going to score a goal...and I was going to be eating cleat. I was wearing camo cargo pants, a tank top and flip flops...and probably had a hot dog or some tots in my pocket.

this guy was a professional. I was going down.

then he ran right past me. tucked a well-placed (and 73 mile an hour) shot in the corner of some OTHER set of goal posts...and missed.

that's right, bitches. he missed.

I fell to ground laughing. he looked completely dismayed.

then I woke up and realized the soccer ball is in my belly.


the moral of the story...he won, anyway.

fucker.