I have to wean him.
messed up. misread. didn't read.
one ingredient to make him cry,
eating poison for days.
not knowing.
cry, cry, cry.
so careful. so easy to miss.
eyes red, face swollen. red-marked body.
poison making progress.
I have to wean him.
I have to wean him.
I've got to wean him.
why do I have to wean him???
warming formula. pumping.
dumping life milk down a drain.
he cries as oqui feeds him.
I cry in the bathroom.
why can't my body do this?
why can't his?
I have to wean him.
I have to wean him.
I have to wean him...right?
can't sleep. my eyes burn.
my head and chest ache.
physical manifestations of a broken heart...
yet, I have to wean him (right?).
cry, cry, cry.
hormones. failure. selfishness.
he sleeps fitfully.
I don't sleep at all.
why?
can't stop crying.
3 comments:
Heya
someone just sent me a link here. And I'm tearing up right alongside you. It sounds like your baby has some kind of food allergy... I'm a member of a group of mamas who have all found out their kids have allergies and have learned to work with that. we've accomplished some amazing stuff, and I'd be delighted to give you a hand, if you'd like it, or an ear, if that's all you need. Please let me know. The group is foodlab (yahoo groups) and my email is attached to this comment.
Having to take a different feeding option doesn't say a damn thing about your parenting skills. It's better you make a tough decision now than push the point and turn a major irritation into a permanent problem.
You have to decide and let the finger pointers go f$%& themselves.
Hugs.
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