the universe is my bitch

and other things to consider.


oqui doesn't like the taste of my left boob. my sincere hope is that this child doesn't share his pickiness.

I had to dress "un-pregnant" for an interview today because I was afraid they wouldn't hire a preggers. I was so successful that now, I'm afraid they'll hire me and I'll have to leave halfway through the school year.

my 12 yo is at a boy's house. a boy who spelled penus (penis, genius) wrong when he graffitied it on our dusty window. he has an appointment to come over tomorrow at 5:30 to wash all of our windows or oqui's going to castrate him. hell, he might castrate him, anyway. just for good measure.

I think I got jipped by an e-bayer out of $150. if I don't get the package soon...I'm going to fly to texas and kick her lilly white ass.

hell, I might fly out there and kick her ass, anyway. just for good measure.

the universe is my bitch, but I'm outta butter. I can't make cookies without butter. and just typing the word "butter" three times has completely eliminated my desire to bake.

so now, I'm going out to buy a cookie.

I should be at the gym bouldering or something. I'm not. I'm writing to-do lists and contemplating which pajamas I'm gonna put on in 42 seconds.

I'm down to 34 seconds and i have yet to decide.

32...
28...
24...

I've got it. opah's snowman boxers.

with 11 seconds to spare.