we're going to west virginny to "climb" this weekend.
taking both kids.
packing all my barely edible rice products.
hoping to avoid any and all contact with bees...
and gonna pretend I remember how to climb.
gonna be exhausting beyond all comprehension. next monday should be interesting...to say the least.
in the meantime I MUST start making invites and get a good start on the web-site.
time's a'wastin'
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
holy shit
people REALLY get into this whole wedding planning shit. so not my deal. I intentionally picked a date less than two months out so I can get it done, over with and look at the pictures when I'm feeling the need for a wedding fix.
seriously, I don't do details, and I'm not so good with stress (I function really well, but at the expense of the heads and necks of those around me)
there are about 40 bajillion bridal blogs out there.
women obsessed. its like they haven't gotten over the childhood wish to be princesses, fairies and daddy's little girl and are now acting it out on their poor fiance's.
lame.
fortunately for me...my mother is one of them and is doing all the legwork for this here shindig.
all I have to do is open my email several times a day and say yay or nay.
...we're getting alot of nays.
...and we're broke.
oh yeah. I still have a baby, am still getting ready for school, still hate my dogs and still want nothing more than to be rid of this house.
seriously, I don't do details, and I'm not so good with stress (I function really well, but at the expense of the heads and necks of those around me)
there are about 40 bajillion bridal blogs out there.
women obsessed. its like they haven't gotten over the childhood wish to be princesses, fairies and daddy's little girl and are now acting it out on their poor fiance's.
lame.
fortunately for me...my mother is one of them and is doing all the legwork for this here shindig.
all I have to do is open my email several times a day and say yay or nay.
...we're getting alot of nays.
...and we're broke.
oh yeah. I still have a baby, am still getting ready for school, still hate my dogs and still want nothing more than to be rid of this house.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I'm cheap, I know it. I like to show it...
called about the dream venue...cried, sighed, sobbed and begged.
got 25% off and some free rental equipment.
I have two months to plan and execute the perfect wedding for about 100 guests with a miniscule budget.
good thing I'm a crafty bitch.
I'm on it.
got 25% off and some free rental equipment.
I have two months to plan and execute the perfect wedding for about 100 guests with a miniscule budget.
good thing I'm a crafty bitch.
I'm on it.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
seek and ye shall find
found a bigger barn.
love it.loveit. love. it.
can't afford it.
...thinking vegas.
love it.loveit. love. it.
can't afford it.
...thinking vegas.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
toast
no alcohol. no partying past sundown. nowhere to put my ginormous family.
actually, my family will fit just fine...as long as oqui's family doesn't come.
they don't really need to come. I don't like them anyway. and after all:
ITSMYWEDDINGMYWEDDINGMYWEDDINGMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE
so, theres my audition for bridezillas.
think I get the part?
really though...this planning thing SUCKS!
we're at the paring down of the guest list stage, and even after placing friends and relatives into three tiers and hacking off the bottom one...
his family's still there.
psych. I axed them and he doesn't know it yet.
...I need a bigger barn.
actually, my family will fit just fine...as long as oqui's family doesn't come.
they don't really need to come. I don't like them anyway. and after all:
ITSMYWEDDINGMYWEDDINGMYWEDDINGMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE
so, theres my audition for bridezillas.
think I get the part?
really though...this planning thing SUCKS!
we're at the paring down of the guest list stage, and even after placing friends and relatives into three tiers and hacking off the bottom one...
his family's still there.
psych. I axed them and he doesn't know it yet.
...I need a bigger barn.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
wedding. what? what?
finally getting down to the business of planning a wedding.
whoa...
just, whoa.
looking at a fall ceremony. stone barn (oqui wants wood, but oqui aint paying an extra 6 grand, so he'll take what he gets and like it). blue grass band. fireplace. oranges, browns, golds...I think I'm getting close.
going to visit a venue tomorrow.
lets pray it doesn't suck.
the Prof is having a well-baby visit today...5 and 1/2 months late. I'm just not that interested in getting any more vaccinations right now (or ever) and don't feel like being pressured, but I am curious to see how his growth is...so I'm gonna pony up and arm wrestle the pediatrician.
hopefully, they don't ever-so-politely ask me to find another doctor.
he's been god awful cranky and sick for a few days, so I'm guessing his weight is not gonna wow them. "Mrs. Professor's mother, we really think you should consider formula...blah, blah, blah."
bite me, doc.
bite me.
whoa...
just, whoa.
looking at a fall ceremony. stone barn (oqui wants wood, but oqui aint paying an extra 6 grand, so he'll take what he gets and like it). blue grass band. fireplace. oranges, browns, golds...I think I'm getting close.
going to visit a venue tomorrow.
lets pray it doesn't suck.
the Prof is having a well-baby visit today...5 and 1/2 months late. I'm just not that interested in getting any more vaccinations right now (or ever) and don't feel like being pressured, but I am curious to see how his growth is...so I'm gonna pony up and arm wrestle the pediatrician.
hopefully, they don't ever-so-politely ask me to find another doctor.
he's been god awful cranky and sick for a few days, so I'm guessing his weight is not gonna wow them. "Mrs. Professor's mother, we really think you should consider formula...blah, blah, blah."
bite me, doc.
bite me.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
octocock and the 2 inch penis
floating in a sealed change jar on my dining room table is...
octocock.
yes, my daughter killed her goldfish by putting a lid on its jar and YES...she named it octocock.
she SAYS its a mixture of octopus and peacock...I think she's just fascinated with cheesy sex humor and was looking for an excuse to say the word cock.
either way...octocock smells like dead fish.
as for that 2 inch penis...
my neighbor's little boy came home from the NICU this week (he was born at 39 weeks weighing just over 4lbs) so we went on over to visit.
I happened to be standing nearby when she changed his diaper when I saw it...
HIS GIGANTIC HORSE COCK!!!
this baby is still less than 5 pounds and when she unloosed the restraints of his nappy, his monster johnson came unfolding out, rolled off the changing table, skipped across the nursery, high fived his dad, and smacked bryson in the face.
this thing is huge.
...my poor baby :(
I was inclined to think my boy was doing alright in the toolshed, but now I'm hoping he doesn't develop a complex based on the sheer girth of this 9 day old's gigantic dinger.
not to mention...
how am I supposed to look his dad in the eye (and not the package) now????
octocock.
yes, my daughter killed her goldfish by putting a lid on its jar and YES...she named it octocock.
she SAYS its a mixture of octopus and peacock...I think she's just fascinated with cheesy sex humor and was looking for an excuse to say the word cock.
either way...octocock smells like dead fish.
as for that 2 inch penis...
my neighbor's little boy came home from the NICU this week (he was born at 39 weeks weighing just over 4lbs) so we went on over to visit.
I happened to be standing nearby when she changed his diaper when I saw it...
HIS GIGANTIC HORSE COCK!!!
this baby is still less than 5 pounds and when she unloosed the restraints of his nappy, his monster johnson came unfolding out, rolled off the changing table, skipped across the nursery, high fived his dad, and smacked bryson in the face.
this thing is huge.
...my poor baby :(
I was inclined to think my boy was doing alright in the toolshed, but now I'm hoping he doesn't develop a complex based on the sheer girth of this 9 day old's gigantic dinger.
not to mention...
how am I supposed to look his dad in the eye (and not the package) now????
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
trust
we got a late night text last night:
not feeling gud. cn u cm get me?
turns out, The Monkey was being pressured into sneaking out of a friend's house to hang with some (albeit hot but) creepy dudes in an unsavory neighborhood. she didn't like the sound of it and bailed.
my kid is awesome.
as a reward for telling us the truth and making the right call...she got to make a midnight visit to a nearby (male but totally not creepy) friend's house to play video games. of course, I made her take the dogs, a stungun and showed her some quick whoopass techniques.
if she thinks she's safe and can handle her surroundings...I'm starting to trust her judgement.
now...if I could only get her to clean her room.
not feeling gud. cn u cm get me?
turns out, The Monkey was being pressured into sneaking out of a friend's house to hang with some (albeit hot but) creepy dudes in an unsavory neighborhood. she didn't like the sound of it and bailed.
my kid is awesome.
as a reward for telling us the truth and making the right call...she got to make a midnight visit to a nearby (male but totally not creepy) friend's house to play video games. of course, I made her take the dogs, a stungun and showed her some quick whoopass techniques.
if she thinks she's safe and can handle her surroundings...I'm starting to trust her judgement.
now...if I could only get her to clean her room.
Monday, June 8, 2009
return to sender
Dear Mommy,
Give me the spoon. I can do it myself.
Love,
Teh Prof
-------
Dear Professor,
You missed.
Love,
The Floor
-------
Dear Floor,
Don't worry. We've got your back.
Love,
The dogs
--------
To whom it may concern,
How the hell did I get wrapped up in this mess???
Fuck you all,
The Rest of the House
Give me the spoon. I can do it myself.
Love,
Teh Prof
-------
Dear Professor,
You missed.
Love,
The Floor
-------
Dear Floor,
Don't worry. We've got your back.
Love,
The dogs
--------
To whom it may concern,
How the hell did I get wrapped up in this mess???
Fuck you all,
The Rest of the House
2 cameras
13 hours of driving.
1 father - estranged for 33 years.
1 brother - didn't know he had him until a few weeks ago.
several weeks in the making...
4 pictures. all of them of the Prof trying to steal the car.
we're prolly gonna regret the lack of pictures later.
overall the road trip a la bebbe' to meet the "fam" went really well. no tears, no punches thrown and lots of playing with the baby. the only minor freak out was mine (shocker, I know)...when overwhelmed with a dozen psuedo-relatives pawing up my child...next to a table of food I couldn't touch.
time out. reload. much better.
we saw some of the less savory parts of rhode island (most of it), stayed in an uber fancy hotel (house keeping. you wan' me fluff you pillow?), stopped in Newport on the way home and pretty much had a good weekend away.
nobody fell asleep at the wheel and the Prof cried less than an hour total over the course of 4 days...40 minutes of which occurred at one shot when we tried to get him to sleep in a playpen in the hotel.
he's an awesome baby. already back on normal schedule and napping happily away whilst I unpack and unwind.
oqui's brother and wife are great. climbers, mountain bikers, skiers, ice climbers, mountaineers. live in new mexico.
guess who's checking flights already?
we managed to squeeze a little climbing into the trip. once at an uptight, super soft indoor gym (I was throwing down 10's like it was my full time job) and once outside in the mosquito breeding grounds of Lincoln Woods. there was a creepy photog guy there snapping shots...if I find anything good on his website (ie. a picture in which my ass looks stellar)...I'll post it up.
so in the course of one weekend we managed to gain a brother and sister in law (and their psuedo stepdaughter who is the baby whisperer), a father and step-mother...and about 43 quasi siblings.
not too shabby...
just a little loud.
1 father - estranged for 33 years.
1 brother - didn't know he had him until a few weeks ago.
several weeks in the making...
4 pictures. all of them of the Prof trying to steal the car.
we're prolly gonna regret the lack of pictures later.
overall the road trip a la bebbe' to meet the "fam" went really well. no tears, no punches thrown and lots of playing with the baby. the only minor freak out was mine (shocker, I know)...when overwhelmed with a dozen psuedo-relatives pawing up my child...next to a table of food I couldn't touch.
time out. reload. much better.
we saw some of the less savory parts of rhode island (most of it), stayed in an uber fancy hotel (house keeping. you wan' me fluff you pillow?), stopped in Newport on the way home and pretty much had a good weekend away.
nobody fell asleep at the wheel and the Prof cried less than an hour total over the course of 4 days...40 minutes of which occurred at one shot when we tried to get him to sleep in a playpen in the hotel.
he's an awesome baby. already back on normal schedule and napping happily away whilst I unpack and unwind.
oqui's brother and wife are great. climbers, mountain bikers, skiers, ice climbers, mountaineers. live in new mexico.
guess who's checking flights already?
we managed to squeeze a little climbing into the trip. once at an uptight, super soft indoor gym (I was throwing down 10's like it was my full time job) and once outside in the mosquito breeding grounds of Lincoln Woods. there was a creepy photog guy there snapping shots...if I find anything good on his website (ie. a picture in which my ass looks stellar)...I'll post it up.
so in the course of one weekend we managed to gain a brother and sister in law (and their psuedo stepdaughter who is the baby whisperer), a father and step-mother...and about 43 quasi siblings.
not too shabby...
just a little loud.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
my baby's cuter than yours is
pre-pea
post-pea
pea shooter
*zoink*
he LOVES tags. tags, tags, tags. he's a tag seeking missile. I could've saved a bundle at the "tags only" store
first baseball game. iron pigs and Paw Sox. he was AWESOME
feets.
wh, wh...what...what'cha got there, dad?
first baseball game. iron pigs and Paw Sox. he was AWESOME
feets.
wh, wh...what...what'cha got there, dad?now, look what you made me do!
don't let a bitch get bored...
at least not with "spike glue" on hand.
that ISN'T the middle finger. I was making the metal sign...swear.
at least not with "spike glue" on hand.
that ISN'T the middle finger. I was making the metal sign...swear. 
(PS. I totally used to be photogenic.)
Monday, June 1, 2009
he made a funny
yesterday that monkey offered to watch the Prof while oqui and I went grocery shopping.
oqui said, "NO WAY!!! We need him as a buffer so we don't kill each other."
so very true...
and pretty funny.
oqui said, "NO WAY!!! We need him as a buffer so we don't kill each other."
so very true...
and pretty funny.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)