octocock and the 2 inch penis

floating in a sealed change jar on my dining room table is...

octocock.

yes, my daughter killed her goldfish by putting a lid on its jar and YES...she named it octocock.

she SAYS its a mixture of octopus and peacock...I think she's just fascinated with cheesy sex humor and was looking for an excuse to say the word cock.

either way...octocock smells like dead fish.

as for that 2 inch penis...

my neighbor's little boy came home from the NICU this week (he was born at 39 weeks weighing just over 4lbs) so we went on over to visit.

I happened to be standing nearby when she changed his diaper when I saw it...

HIS GIGANTIC HORSE COCK!!!

this baby is still less than 5 pounds and when she unloosed the restraints of his nappy, his monster johnson came unfolding out, rolled off the changing table, skipped across the nursery, high fived his dad, and smacked bryson in the face.

this thing is huge.

...my poor baby :(


I was inclined to think my boy was doing alright in the toolshed, but now I'm hoping he doesn't develop a complex based on the sheer girth of this 9 day old's gigantic dinger.

not to mention...

how am I supposed to look his dad in the eye (and not the package) now????