and while I can (mostly) tolerate a fit from an infant...I'm not even gonna try to restrain myself when the elder brat starts pitching one.
game on.
if I hear "you better stop it, or I'm heading out the door" whispered to my infant son one more time I'll not only pack the offending whisperer's bag...
but make sure to pack the lil' one's, too. I'm a kind and benevolent Suki, but...
!!!THERE IS NO ESCAPE, O'PAH!!!
this child's grouchy, grumpy, miserable boo-boo face is genetic...and it ain't (does "ain't" even HAVE a proper spelling? I use an apostrophe like it's actually called for and shit) from me.
BOTH of you best chill your shit, slow your rolls and act your ages.
on second thought...forget your ages. please act according to the following prescribed course of behaviour as set forth by the Suk:
-wake up smiling
-be pleasant when presented with a meal
-poo like a man (ie. without all the crying and whining)
-appreciate what you've got
-don't demand more than your fair share of cuddling (note: fair shares differ amongst family members)
-do not complain unnecessarily
-go to sleep smiling
if after 3 days of strict compliance with teh Suk's magic cure for bitchiness, you find you are not getting desirable results please schedule an appointment in our office.
...then, I'll pack your bagzes.
3 comments:
In that case...realize that I do quite a bit already. I'm not asking for constant verbal or physical recognition of said contributions...no, all I want is realization that when I do things and then get some feedback that I don't do anything in the kitchen, it is quite frustrating. You want help in the kitchen? I wouldn't mind help, sweeping the floors, straightening up the house, vacuuming, doing laundry or folding the clean stuff (a never ending task), taking out the trash or recycling, feeding the dogs, filling their water bowls, watering the plants, scrubbing the toilet (my poos rarely reach the under side of the bowl rim), replacing an empty tp dispenser...
I know that Diablito can make even the most benign tasks akin to scaling a lofty mountainous peak...it took me twice as long to pay bills and figure out our finances last night, but there are certainly things that can be accomplished in the short periods of calm he allows.
I will continue to help and be a partner. You remember that a short week or so ago you reached a point during one of his worst spells of crying too, it's definitely putting us through a mighty test. I'm allowed to have similar espisodes...
Now, for the record, I DO poo like a man...30 minutes minumum, with one standing period to re-establish blood flow to the limbs, and a good book or several periodicals...the 'office' is man's true last wilderness. I will love any food prepared for me and be thankful (unless it be brussel sprouts), I will wake up and go to sleep tired but smiling. I would like to point out that cuddling is reciprocal.
We should schedule an appointment with the rock.
you sooooo don't wanna talk chores with me.
now, shut your pie hole and get a bitch a brownie sundae.
Why not?
You want brownie sundaes? Pump your ta-tas so we have back up for the day it takes it to get out of your system.
I'll bake the brownies myself AND serve it warm with a scoop of your favorite ice cream AND Reese's pieces AND mix you up a stiff one...COCKtail that is. We're both long overdue to get our Sake on.
By the way...the monkey is off the hook for chore duty this week...studying takes priority.
Post a Comment