the meaning of life...and other important things

(like hair straightening, nail polishing and hip-hop music)

my 12 year old threw me for a loop yesterday. as we're straightening her hair (a 2 hour procedure, mind you)...she's lying there philosophizing.

her: "I just...I just think so much."
me: "oh, like what?"
her: "nothing. you'll just think I'm being dumb."
me: "yeah, probably. but I'm curious what you're thinking, anyway."
her: "why?"
me: "cause I wanna know if I'm doing a good job raising you...as evidenced by your innermost thoughts. tell me and we'll see if we gave you the right name" (we're obsessed with names currently and she's a little upset with the "cheerleader" name I gave her)
her: "godddd, mom! it's not even like that!!! see? you don't understand me already!!!"
me: *laughing and pointing at her*
her: "ok. so that was lame. I sound like an afterschool special"

...so we proceded to have our talk.

turns out the child is questioning the existence of god, the nature of religion...and the human condition, for that matter; trying to decide what her goals in life should be (two of her possible options include "adventuring" and "doing good"), and wondering why we react differently to different people who do the same things.

ie. one friend can touch her hand and say something and she'll laugh...and another one will do the same and she'll want to stab her (or, at least I would).

she wonders why people's inherent personalities either fit or don't fit with others.

we got into discussions about basic human needs and nature, and talked at length about mormons (I told her they're bat-shit crazy).

before it was all said and done she suggested we meditate together. amen. hallelujah. I'm sooo tired of her constant attempts to drown out her inner noise with extraneous hip-hop...

SCORE ONE FOR SOME QUIET TIME IN SUKI-LAND

and I told her that these were all good questions that mean she's thinking the right way.

she told me AGAIN that I don't understand (ha! the forces of teenager-dom at work against her own will)...but this time took responsibility for it, herself. she thinks that what we actually talked about was very immature vs. what she's actually thinking, and that she managed to make it all come out sounding very kid-like.

I told her its probably because her thoughts are more complex than her vocabularly (and pointed out that that is probably why ALL 12 year olds sound the way they do)...and told her to read.

SCORE TWO FOR MORE QUIET TIME IN SUKI-LAND

so...when she gets home today and starts blasting music, I'm going to hand her a book and schedule a yoga class.


...and I'm confiscating her stinky nail polishes and body sprays. how can one think with all that smell going on???