Friday, May 23, 2008

realizations...minor and otherwise

uncomfortable underwear make you stupid.
uncomfortable shoes make you mean.

all of my cohorts have real jobs.
I don't.
(nor do I want one)

warm baths make things better.
hot ones make them worse.

falling asleep in the bath is bad.
regardless of temperature.

no matter how hard I try, I can't train my dogs to answer my phone and take a message...or cook a meal...or clean up the poo.
I can't train the kid or the man to do those things, either.

I am inherently distrustful of strangers...and/or I hate them.

I hate teenagers.
I hate 20-somethings, 30-somethings, 40-somethings and 50-somethings.

60, 70 and 80-somethings are fine
...as long as they aren't driving in front of me.

I know absolutely jack shit about bird song...
except that it happens early in the morning.

I don't like early mornings.

I like a bit o' hair on a man's legs...
but not on my own.

I don't shave often enough.

1 comment:

Liz Schleeper said...

I maintain that I'd rather have the older, predictable person in front than the rest of rash humanity coming up from behind.