Saturday, July 25, 2009

exhaustion, thy name is suki

fuckingfuck damn shit fuck cock ass fuck bitch whore slut fuck.

I'm tired.

the baby went complete retard last night and DID NOT SLEEP at all. we took turns hating him all night long.

at least four hours of screaming put a major dent on my "rest up" plan.

I'm toast. I feel like I'm walking through wet cement. I suddently want to start murdering shit, again.

not sleeping is not helping.

what I want to do right now = nap.
what I DON'T want to do right now = climb.

so, what are we doing, you ask??? going climbing.

fucking brilliant. the last time we hiked out to the quarry, I was destroyed before we got to the crag, fell on my first lead of the day (a 7 or 8)...tried a 10, got my ass handed to me in a bad way...and barely made it back out to the car...

only to be so far beyond exhaustion the whole next week that I was near psychosis.

why am I going, then, you ask?

duty. oqui "needs" to get out of the house (obviously more than I "need" to rest)...so I'm reluctantly (extremely reluctantly) sucking it up and taking one for the team. we met as climbers, and since he isn't the one actually feeling like his life is being sucked from his body on a regular basis...I can see how he doesn't quite understand where I'm at.

when they say that physical activity and exercise are good for depression...that's for people who actually get to sleep at night.

for me...

exhaustion piled on top of fatigue...

is just a fucking nightmare.

2 comments:

Oak said...

So how did it turn out?

Suki said...

t'was cool.

rolled out late, rolled back in early. didn't do anything to strenuous.

good day.