dear oqui,
if you ever (ever ever ever ever) wake me up at 4:30 in the morning again because you're hot, I will shave your entire body, rub you with a savory spice mixture, shove a rod up your ass and out your mouth...
and roast you in the yard.
I was up THE ENTIRE MORNING after your lil' announcement of your uncomfortable body temperature.
I did NOT sleep through your fifteen alarms. I did NOT sleep through you kicking the child's toys around. I did NOT sleep through your shower, the ironing board creaking or the dogs licking their asses.
I really didn't sleep at all.
in the future, if you should happen to find yourself being a little too warm at night ( I WONDER WHAT THAT'S LIKE???) I'll thank you to very quietly extricate yourself from the room (without spilling your water or bitching audibly), take your skinny ass downstairs...
and adjust the fucking thermostat...
silently.
Thanks for your cooperation in this matter.
All my love,
Teh Suki
5 comments:
Or you could just adjust the thermostat at night, not place child's toys in exit path, and kill the dogs.
I was literally sweating. Naked as a jay bird with beads of sweat running down my face and a serious case of bat wing.
I learnt how to spill water from the master herself...Teh Suki. And my alarm went off exactly two times (not 15) this morning on account that our dearest child decided to stand up, asleep, at the foot of his crib and wail and wake me up 30 minutes before the first was set to start.
This all happened because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...literally.
If'f we need another more powerful and quieter fan for the master suite...let's not hold back. I'd prefer to not lose weight while I sleep, and I'm sure you'd sleep better knowing that you could her the Prof over any white noise.
Love,
Diablo Sr.
deal. ceiling fan or bust.
for anyone else reading who might wanna buy this house...
what color blades you want?
This is a fascinating follow up post to the whole "you need sleep" advice. I figured after throwing significant coin at an advisor, the coin earner would have taken the expensive advice seriously.
amen, mike.
you tell him!
This is so fucking cute. *sniffs* I'm serious.
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