Thursday, July 30, 2009

oh-niner

I hereby deem 2009 the year of the baby arms.

I haven't had full use of mine own two arms since last november (and even then I couldn't exactly use my legs the way they were supposed to work).

I've always got a baby in them.

sometimes it gets a little frustrating...a wee bit overwhelming to watch my old life not so slowly and not too terribly quietly wither away...but I've made (mostly) peace with it.

climbing, riding and travelling are all fun...but I've been there, done that, and will get back to it.

his baby year is almost over. so fast. sooooo so so soso fast. it pretty much deserves my undivided attention.

and...that's what it gets.

my house is a dumphole. I look like shiznizzle and I'm so far out of "shape" it's almost comical.

people used to call me muskles.

haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha.

no.

the only time my calm gets rattled is when I worry if I may never get "it" all back. if I'm never fully suki-like, again. if I permanently lose my mosquito-like climbing style. if I throw up on a bike...but can't keep riding. if I'm never quite as sassy (in a good way....and not this sleep deprived semi-psychotic shit) again.

oqui assures me that it'll come back, but...

my arms are chubby. this doesn't sound like a big deal to many, I'm sure...but its kinda devastating to me to have a little chicken gobbler going on and not have the time/energy/inclination to go sweat it off.

not to mention pull-ups. I used to bang out 20 pull-ups with 20 pounds on my back. I was supa strong.

I'm not so sure I can do even one single pull up these days.

tragic.

I used to have abs. slightly used, somewhat damaged post (first) baby abs...

but six, seven or eight of them always available to run my hand over in times of self doubt (whoa! I'm not sure I can climb that. *rubs hand over tummy* relax...you've got ABS)

so, my plan is to stay calm. focus on the immediate goal (keeping the kid from bashing his head or falling off a cliff). stay POSITIVE about future prospects...

and sleep when able.

I wouldn't be surprised if I get a little softer before I firm up, again...

but I WILL get my muskles back.






eventually.

1 comment:

The meanderings of a history hound said...

They will come back when you have the time and energy to coax them back out of their infant induced hibernation.

After 7.5 years, I started training for the cross country biathlong (ski 2.5km, shoot, ski 2.5km, shoot, ski 2.5 km) in hopes of qualifying for the paralympic games.

The muscles and strength is coming back. Even the muscles in my right leg that I should NOT have because they should have atrophied away per the Doctors & medical journals.

If my gimpy, wobbling like a drunk ass can do it, you can. I am certain you were and still are in much better shape than I was.

BTW - babies make good weights, just don't hold him by the ankles when you do triceps extensions. They don't like that. They do like being a leg weight or in a baby bouncey seat for bicep curls.