what the hell happened?!?!?!?!?!?!
somebody hit the colic switch on our lil' dear and he's been wailing his ass off for days now.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
the novelty wore off about 8 seconds into his first crying jag (can you say tubal ligation?)...and now we're just trying to muddle through and keep coming up with new and exciting ways to shut the little shit up.
some snippets from last night's dialogue:
- "don't kick your dad in the dick. no, I said don't kick your dad in the dick."
- "you know, nobody WANTS to commit infanticide...but I can see how it would happen"
- "stop giving your mother such a hard time. those are good full boobies. now, settle down and suck (you ungrateful lil' *bleep*)"
- "I'm giving you another 40 minutes before I call the adoption agency"
- "sooo...you're sure you don't want any more (children), right?"
- "yes, yes. I know. it's dreadfully difficult being an infant. now shut up."
- "what the hell kinda party is this? all we've got to drink is MILK!"
and my personal favorite (after Oqui had enough, picked him up for a "man to man" talk, informed him that he was being unreasonable and he better get his act together...which he promptly did btw)...
"don't make me tell Daddy!!!"
obviously...I'm no longer in need of my fallopian tubes.
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