ouch

my boob hurts.

like really really hurts. the thought was that I don't have a breast infection because I don't have a fever and I'm not slumped in a corner sobbing,

BUT...

I seem to have a plugged duct (or entire extended family of them) for about two weeks now. it hurts into my armpit, down my arm, into my chest and sometimes my teeth.

I'm doing everything under the sun to just MAKE IT GO AWAY!!

hot compresses, nursing like its my job, lots of fluids, as much rest as one can get with a crazy as a shithouse rat infant, massage, more massage and yet some more massage, change in activity (climbing can go fuck itself til my boob stops threatening to burst), change in diet (I threw out the bag of potato chips and didn't go to friendly's), I don't wear any constrictive clothing (I also threw out my nursing bras), standing on my head, nursing on my hands and knees and praying to buddha.

at this point, I'd be willing to kill a kitten if it would make this incessant, brain numbing pain go away.

fine. I can't actually kill a kitten, but I'd order that bitch's execution in a heartbeat.

I'm at the end of my rope (which magically seems to elongate every time I say/think/feel that way) physically, mentally and emotionally.

there is good news, however:

-I can always cut the fucker off (by fucker I'm referring to the boob and not the child)
-colic tends to last until the third month. no longer.
-the monkey has had great success in hushing the baby
-I feel zero remorse in saying no to absolutely every request for action. I'm not leaving this house for anything shy of antibiotics and/or a Mr. Miaggi massage.
-I'm justified in "resting"
-I can have sex...assuming Captain Cock Block goes to sleep
-technically, alcohol is no longer forbidden. I'm not sure I wanna liquor the lil' chap up TOO much...

but it might just have to happen (please refer to "I can have sex" bullet).