today...I decided to go for a bike ride. not a ride like all you real-live cyclists ride. you know, with a team, helmets, handy dandy ass padded skin suits (I gotta get me one of those, for real), and well...talent. instead I rode this:
there are no words, really...
this being my 11 year olds 21 speed (who rocks the hardest?) still decorated for last 4th of July's parade ride. oh, yeah. I'm chilling.
I hop on this biznitch thinking "I can do this. They say you never forget, right?"
right. I could still ride. just...not very well.
Instantly I realized two things:
1. this tiara up my ass is no fun
2. I really need to learn how to operate the tire pump
within another 13 1/2 minutes I realize several other things:
-"off-roading" doesn't mean sidewalks
-this tiara up my ass is still no fun
-nifty as this little violet beast is...I need a bike of my very own
-this is a bad idea.
I've got four days of hella hiking coming up for a climbing trip and I'm thinking my squishy climber's legs aren't really digging this brand new sensation. the sensation being pain. my quads told me to go fuck myself...which I did...
by riding another forty minutes.
all told I spend ONE WHOLE hour (yeah. I still rock the hardest) with this internal dialogue:
self 1: dood. stop being a pussy. go for the hill.
self 2: um...es'cuse me! don't be a dumbass. sore quads make for shitty climbing. you DO remember kaymoor mines, don't you?
self 1: seriously. you're being a pussy.
et cetera.
in the end I opted for the hill (and by hill I mean an acorn MIGHT roll down it given a good hearty shove), only had to stop once to near-vomit, and worked the mess outta granny gear.
When I got home, I gave my lazy legs a good twenty minute stretching, ate a Hershey bar with almonds, and called my aunt to hook me up with a big girl bike and some trail riding for pussies lessons.
feels sooo good.
I hop on this biznitch thinking "I can do this. They say you never forget, right?"
right. I could still ride. just...not very well.
Instantly I realized two things:
1. this tiara up my ass is no fun
2. I really need to learn how to operate the tire pump
within another 13 1/2 minutes I realize several other things:
-"off-roading" doesn't mean sidewalks
-this tiara up my ass is still no fun
-nifty as this little violet beast is...I need a bike of my very own
-this is a bad idea.
I've got four days of hella hiking coming up for a climbing trip and I'm thinking my squishy climber's legs aren't really digging this brand new sensation. the sensation being pain. my quads told me to go fuck myself...which I did...
by riding another forty minutes.
all told I spend ONE WHOLE hour (yeah. I still rock the hardest) with this internal dialogue:
self 1: dood. stop being a pussy. go for the hill.
self 2: um...es'cuse me! don't be a dumbass. sore quads make for shitty climbing. you DO remember kaymoor mines, don't you?
self 1: seriously. you're being a pussy.
et cetera.
in the end I opted for the hill (and by hill I mean an acorn MIGHT roll down it given a good hearty shove), only had to stop once to near-vomit, and worked the mess outta granny gear.
When I got home, I gave my lazy legs a good twenty minute stretching, ate a Hershey bar with almonds, and called my aunt to hook me up with a big girl bike and some trail riding for pussies lessons.
feels sooo good.
2 comments:
You go girl! Love the streamers. hee hee
I gotta do SOMETHING to make me look cool (like y'all) on a bike.
hehehehe
Post a Comment