mr. dancer

I get a phone call from my mother's cell this afternoon. she's totally deadpan...

"I got some bad news today. shocker of the decade"

with all the drama surrounding my sister and nieces, general tendency towards lunacy in this family, and a couple o' doozies of my own...I'm preparing myself for the worst. she then tells me that OH MY GOD!!! DOUG DANCER IS GETTING MARRIED.

ok, I'm laughing already. see...about 8 years ago, my mom dukes was totally OBSESSED with this man. completely in love. head over heels reetardo-rama for this guy. unrequited. never consumated...never fully let it go. a few months ago she was out of the country on business and just happened to run into the former flame who was doing some consulting for the same company. they struck up a convo, had a drink, left it at that.

no mention of marriage.

and CERTAINLY no mention that he was about to being marrying another man.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahahah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my mom...is, understandably, taking this pretty hard.

I, on the other hand...

and busy laughing my ass off that the former man of her dreams...mr. dancer (of all the apropo names)...

is "marrying" a chunky 45 year old bald man.

go, doug.

its your birfday.