seriously.
how hard can it be to kill a roach?
I took another afternoon assignment today (this is six hours of work this week. can you tell I'm feeling better?)...and 'round 'bout 12:30 I'm sitting quite contentedly (I like to sit) at the teacher's desk...
when a full grown, and extremely RUDE, roach strolls right by me....and heads for my orange.
nuh uh, chief. that's MY orange.
so I squash it with my shoe...
or so I think.
the would be produce thief lays low for about 15 minutes...THEN FUCKING REANIMATES.
yes. the squashed roach starts waggling its antennae and makes another run for my orange (which btw I was too disgusted to eat and generously donated to other teachers).
so I whacked him, again.
I swear to you. this roach would not die.
finally...after my entire body started to itch and I completely lost my appetite I decided to call in some skilled help to finish this fucker off.
I had the students kill it.
one of the girls said with disgust, "Miss. You're afraid of a roach???"
yes, bitchlet. when something about .3% of my size refuses to die when I repeatedly knock its brains out...
yeah, I'm a little intimidated by that.
so afterschool, I decided to face my fears head on and get dinner at a puerto rican restaurant in town.
catfish - no.
pig's feet - uhhh...no.
boiled something or other nasty - no.
but I did get enough pastelios, rice and beans (I'm taking a chance with those beans), and steak and pork chops to feed an army...
of humans.
no roaches at the dinner table, please.
in other news:
the monkey ran the 200 without suffocating yesterday. she's COMPLETELY new to the sprint game (ie. tripped outta the blocks and actually turned around and went back thinking she false started it..only to play catch up for the rest of the race), but finished third in her heat. if my voice had offered her any assistance she would've won it.
me: get her bayl! get her! get her!!! you're so close! kill her! kill...oops. too much?
she was overwhelmingly proud of herself...and so was I.
she says she's going to ask the coach to keep her in the 200...AND put her back in the 800.
fucking a. this kid is awesome.
ps. there were no roaches at the meet. this is a good thing.
1 comment:
scared shitless of roaches too. Spiders, eh. Roaches = nein.
When we lived on the island I saw some tarantulas, big deal. The roaches there though? You could harness those fuckers. I could not wait to move. Now we live in Texas where they are probably just as big but blessedly do not like our place and we don't have 'em like most people seem to.
Glad you are eating again and ...PICTURES, dammit. Like soon!
XOXO
PS- when you called I was tending to screaming baby (last 2 days, colic..I almost answered it and just held up the phone to his mouth to prepare you kids for what is coming. EVILLLLL)
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