Monday, April 21, 2008

let the "punishment" begin

the monkey asked for a note to get out of track practice today...

I wrote this:

Coach U,

My daughter is a sissy and asked for a note to get out of track practice today. She says she doesn't feel well...I think she's just mad because I made her break up with her 16 year old juvenile delinquent boyfriend. Feel free to make practice EXTRA hard today.

Thanx!
Teh Suki

ps. she's also grounded and disallowed to speak to Julie.


(and on the back in teeny tiny writing)

pps. She really isn't feeling well today, but I felt the need to torture her with this note. She does have my consent to miss practice.


it should be noted here that her track coach is NOT a nice guy and isn't particularly fond of my daughter.

grood.

I hope he makes her practice in jeans and vomit up blood.

then I can justifiably kick BOTH their asses.

in other juvy related news:

apparently "mikey" was sooooooo devastated by the loss of his new girlfriend that he did what every horny, retarded, dishonest, piece of shit 16 year old criminal would...

he immediately got himself another one.

even better.

he's done. she's grounded (to the extent that oqui won't even let her walk to school with the bad apple, anymore. he's driving her...and we live 3 blocks from the school). and my house will never be cleaner than its about to be in the weeks to come.

I'm also going to take this time to teach her how to cook.

I'll be having a baby soon...and take-out is expensive.

it's about time this child earns her keep.

let's just hope her cooking doesn't suck.

2 comments:

Big Mike said...

Please write a book. I need a compendium of parental torture as my team of cherubs enter and traverse teenagerdom.

Mr13, Mr9 and Ms7 are just plain exhausting at the moment, but I'm sure the time isn't far away when I'll have to decide whether to use a baseball bat or a knife to dish some out.

The decision will probably come down to something as fundamental as if I'm likely to get caught or not, or if my target is a blood relative.

Either way, I'm gonna need an alibi.

Suki said...

both baseball bats AND knives are over-rated.

I say go for the cast-iron skillet.