she needs to get laid.
she's about mid-50's.
slightly chubby.
mean as fuck.
wears lots of loud colors and cheap sandals.
sports the styling head scarf of her native land.
pretends she doesn't speak english when she's being tricky.
and really needs a good banging.
any takers?
(don't tempt me to post a pic...cause I just might do it)
in other news:
exhaustion does not begin to describe how I've felt this week. three full days (my full days end at 3:00pm, btw) was ALOT. I was dragging my bum by wednesday afternoon.
by thursday. asleep at the wheel. I feel asleep whenever:
a. the kids got quiet (they didn't)
b. they left the room (they did)
c. noone was looking
I slept 11 hours wed night and another 13 or so yesterday including naps.
but, as my mother said...I better get as much as I can now, because in a few months...I'll be too uncomfortable to sleep at all...and that'll go on for about a year and a half (til I have and wean the kid).
so I'm stocking up, now.
I'm also stocking up on maternity clothes. I'm addicted. I keep bidding on e-bay lots and ordering stuff on-line. yet I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH!!! (particularly since half the e-bay stuff doesn't fit)
the fact that I'm going to be gigantic makes me want to play dress up for the next six months.
speaking of gigantic...
yesterday I looked HUGE.
11 weeks :( I thought I was 12) in and I was enormous. today...
it's gone.
day before yesterday...huge.
not to mention that the sprout is located entirely on my left side. my right side is getting jealous and hurts when I sneeze.
the nurses and midwives don't seem to think this is a problem...but agree that it really is WEIRD.
and there ya have it.
my kid is a weird radical leftist in the womb.
2 comments:
Isn't it the coolest when you go in to the appointments and they check the heartbeat? My peanut always was moving around and that was a sign of things to come, ha. At 20 weeks think you'll wanna know the sex? Have any feeling what it might? Intuition?
I think the first trimester was my sleepiest and work sucked b/c of that. Later on between the peeing (I almost moved a cot near the bathroom. Desperate times..) and turning on each side I was unable to sleep. My dr. said Tylenol PM was safe and ok but that didn't work. Warm soy milk with chai did oddly. I love vanilla soy milk and had it through pregnancy and though not daily Connor came out fine.
I did remember glaring at the back of Brian's head as he slept soundly and me waking him up 'accidentally' with a leg or arm b/c I was so irritated.
Advice: Get thee a BODY PILLOW. It was the singular best thing I did and made life easier and sleeping possible. They RULE. Seriously.. it's the best thing you will buy for yourself.
Oh, that and a Bella Band. Those extend the pants during the first trimester so you can wear them longer and not have to get ugly ass
maternity pants until much later.
Lefty eh?...
hmmmmmm, maybe it's a hockey player? or, it's trying to hide from your weird as all giddy-up neighbor.....or s polite and doesn;t want to take up alot of space, or....it's messing with you already?.. haha..
Ode to fucked up 16 year old boys who like to date girls... not his age... uh well, I dunno what oqui's personality is all about, but I'd basically do this if t were me who was involved on Oqui's level..
1.) walk up to him in broad daylight and grab him by his mother fucking throat and essentially threaten his life as I got a full on GI JOE KUNG-FU Grip of his balls with my other hand, making my point beyond what could be deemed as "explicitly clear" therefore eliminating all or any confusion.
2.) ground the kid
3.) Banish the Ho-bag she's hanging with.
4.) sign her up for more sports so she'll be too tired come friday to want to hang out... with anyone.
5.) said sports will lead her down a more productive path, but you know all of that..
6.) kick 16 year old BF's ass.. he's a Juvy Delinquent, it's his word against yours.
7.) interrupt your daughters online pc time woith some quick and dirty, "Mommy needs to answer an email from a realtor in Wyoming" emergency interuption...
8.) have a friend call the house and tell your daughter that you'd like to leave a message for you that your daughter was accepted into Military school.
9.) take her to church or synagog of hours and pretend to pray and cry...
10.) Another phone call "fake" from outward bound that she has been accepted into the Antarctica summer camp extravaganza and needs to be ready to go the day after school lets out.
Oh and about the neighbor, now I don;t want to come off like a total peice of shit maniac, I'll accept half of a peice of shit maniac, but not full on, no way...
I'd slaughter a live chicken on the back porch next time she comes outside while your having coffee or something. and make sure the war paint is on heavy... she'll wanna move after that one.
you can always light her trash on fire that she dumped on your property... this way the fire marshall can prosecute her for illegal dumping of a hazardous material... like some paint thinner and stuff, that catches fire easily.... eh?
uh-no-you-di-int
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