yup. I'm sure.
my "problems" are actually quite trivial in nature...but really underscore my indecisive and super duper fruit looper nature. I've been back and forth with myself about this climbing trip for a few weeks, now...
and INCESSANTLY so for the last few days. I even got to the point where I was polling my students "g or n? pick one. NOW!" 'g' being staying home and checking out granogue and 'n' representing the new river rendezvous. maybe I should've added an "f" for go fuck myself...
I wasn't going to go. then I was. then I wasn't. then I found, through what appeared to be divine intervention, a group and a ride (with people who WEREN'T blowing me off and being choads). then I was going. then came kid complications, so I wasn't going. then I told the kid to suck it up...and we were going.
now...I think I maybe, possibly, sorta...might not be going.
I took off work thursday night at the gym, friday at school and probably cost myself the assignment for the rest of the year in doing so...and I don't think I'm going.
I spent, quite literally, FOUR HOURS on the phone today trying to make arrangements to make this work. here's what the plan was (is?):
me: leave at 5:30 tomorrow afternoon sans kid with a group of men I barely know to hit the gorge
the hub would then get the kid to school on friday, cart her an hour to my mother's after school so that my mother could then cart her to a friend's for a sleepover. the kid would then be picked up the next morning at 10:30, shuffled an hour back to our town for a "spartan spectacular" festival until 4:30 that afternoon, then brought BACK to my house where a sixteen year old cousin would be waiting to kidsit her (I haven't been allowed to say BABYsit since the kid was old enough to protest "I'm NOT a baby, I'm a pre-schooler!") the kid and the cousin would then be picked up for church sunday morning, bored to death, then carted BACK to my house to serve the rest of their sentence. I would then get said cousin off to school first thing monday morning...exhausted, sweaty and most likely injured (that would be me upon my return from climbing...and the cousin upon her arrival here. she just broke her ankle and rarely bathes).
so I had it wired, right?
wrong. without either myself, the husband or the kid's dad anywhere in this picture...I'm a little nervous about the potentialities, here.
too many transitions...too many opportunities for somebody else to fuck up my plan, schedule, child, etc.
so the I barely know them dudes agreed to bring the child with for the trip. they're obviously nice guys. I consider myself a fairly decent judge of character...but I know they're just saying it now out of obligation, and I don't want to put them out. even if I didn't mind putting them out (which I do)...
the kid is now uber upset about missing the party, the spectacular AND the big whoopdy-doo rocket launch and field day at school friday.
fuck. in. a.
do I sacrifice her activities for my own? do I sacrifice mine for hers? I'm sooo NOT the soccer mom type. I don't glean enough personal satisfaction from sewing school play costumes to make my world spin...so when it comes down to it, this kid is gonna have to climb with me. in fact, she's going to have to get used to spending half of her summers as a filthy crag-bound pre-teen at miguel's and the gunks.
question is...
do I make her miss her activities THIS weekend to start her training in filth acquisition?
4 comments:
mos def not, self sacrifice in this sense is not a negative. You will gain the admiration of your child and not her scorn. She needs play time, with her peers. The rocks won;t be going anywhere soon, but she will and before you know it, she's all grown up and on her own....
Sometimes when things are too difficult to get together, there's a reason. May want to err on the side of caution.
Not knowing the dynamics of your relationship with her I would tend to lean towards you missing your activites. As Frank said, before you know it they're "all growed up". :(
I've always said that our kids came into our lives, not the other way around so we shouldn't have to always "bend" to their wants but in some cases you need to 'cause it's the right thing.
Let us know what you decide. Good luck!
Jesus.. i have enough trouble figuring out what to do with the dog. The NRG will be very crowded this weekend and it will be there next year and the year after. If it were me, I'd be less stressed if I stayed.
You could be like Chris Linder's parents and get him on her to lead her first trad 10 by the age of 4. or was it 5? Then she could grow up to be the hottest 24 year old creature on earth.
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