this photo was in no way staged...I'm ashamed to say: that's, quite literally...how I roll.
http://www.sukishouseo-o-fuglyshoes.comfuckin' a I love that place. where else on earth can $3.31 make me so grab-assing, mongloid-o grinny, ree-ree happy? I bought books...all sorts of books for a nickel a piece. I even bought a coffee table book on China...
and then one on Holland.
's cool. they'll match the Budapest travel guide I got last time around...and even if they don't
THEY WERE A NICKEL...A PIECE, MOTHER FUCKER.
^ that statement alone brings joy to my day (especially the "motherfucker" part). more than you can imagine. honestly, I think I might have a problem. if it isn't on sale...no...clearance...I physically can NOT buy it. I argued with the folks at "the new AT&T" for 17.28 minutes tonight because I feel I spend too much money on their services. I told them I've been doing it for over ten years and it needs to stop. I asked them to give me a credit in the amout of three bajillion dollars for ripping me off this long...and implored them to repent.
allowing me to spend money is definitely a mortal sin...which is precisely why I don't do it.
they settled on 3,000 roll over minutes and the ceremonial waiving of one or another fees. when all was said and done I told them to call Comcast and tell them I'm coming...
bitches.
did I mention that I got ET on VHS for $2 and the best of broadway LP for about 13 cents?
wonder how much a VCR and record player'll cost me...
I also scored some gold felt-like too tight shoes (fiddy cent), yet another metal wall hangy thingy to store in my attic ($2.97), a bicylce helmet (4 bones), tupperware parfait cups (@ fiddy seven cents a pop), 4 pairs of manufacturer's reject flip-flops, a silver purse (ok. I'm fucked up.), a broken foam bazooka dart launcher ma-bobber ($2.99), and the tackiest picture frame on the planet ($1.97) which I hung on the wall...sans picture, green dot and pricetag still intact.
I should also mention that I was once subscribed to 13 magazines at once...
who needs prozac?
3 comments:
magazine subscibing needs a self help group or Mantra... let's write one..
You are a cavewoman, you are tremendous.
I have to go write a theme song for the theater group Killer Pussy...
hmm.. how shall I go about it?
dood...
I can't get anywhere NEAR the killer pussy thing without gigglesnorting and blowing snot.
I'm afraid you'll have to go it alone.
(cause I hear that shit is killer...da dun dun)
.. I can picture you with that foam bazooka thingy-ma-bob shooting at people from inside the safety of your car. Come Christmas, you'll be hiding in the tree shooting unsuspecting passers-by. You're the epitome of evil.
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