do no harm.

that is the one thing (and trust me when I say it is the ONE thing) they tell you when you prove yourself not to be a criminal and show up to be a sub in an inner-ghetto district.

do no harm.

there is no talk, whatsoever, of actually doing good. contributing. helping. making these kids see things from a different perspective.

do no harm.

specifically, they are referring to not disrupting the classroom schedule, routines or general flow...

but I'm guessing they would probably include not starting a full-scale riot of parents in that category, as well.

oops.

this could be a very long story...and someday it might be, but I'm beat. emotionally, physically, mentally de-stroy-ed.

I'm tired.

today I was accused of doing MANY innapropriate things to an entire class of 3rd graders.

among the accusations were:

-hitting one with a tape dispenser
-kicking one under a chair
-throwing markers at them (this is kinda true...I've been known to toss a marker to make a point...but always in humor. despite what these looking-for-a-payoff parents believe...I actually LIKE these kids)
-frightening a child so badly that she refuses to return to school

I poured my heart out with that class last week. 32.children.packed.into.an.undersized.room...

and miss suki performed all day to keep them interested.

do no harm.

the parents literally rioted the school and administration buildings today. the went to the director of human resources, the head of elementary education and anyone else with their name on a wall.

the principal and other teachers in the building back me.
most of the students (including one who caught the ricochet of a wayward marker and said I look like a superstar) back me.
the administration rates the parents' concerns a 0 on a scale from 1 to 10...

yet, I feel completely shattered.

how sad that a person who tries to take as much energy as I do to this seemingly thankless job gets targeted for a witch hunt.

what disturbs me more than the fact that I'm being smeared...is the fact that these families are so repressed, denied and discriminated against that they even feel the need to do it.

what's wrong when a kid can't take a well-intentioned joke???
how bad is that child's life???

how on earth did I scare the little girl with pigtails and the harmonica into not wanting to come back to school???

do no harm.

the witch hunt knows no bounds. the irate parents (ie. single moms in the projects) are targeting the principal, as well.

a woman I've never met...

for defending me.

maybe...just maybe...

its because their anger is misplaced and they're obviously out of control?


goddamn.

since when is showing a little concern and spunk a threat to a child?

this is breaking my fucking heart.

I don't MEAN to do harm.

I have to get out of here.