5 oranges?

we finally got to the grocery store last night to put some food in this house.

I was heavy on the fruits and veggies (not gonna lie. I bought FROZEN veggies. sick of them rotting silently in my fridge), whole grain bread-like items and dairy. can you say cheese-itarian?

oqui was bagging and I was yapping with the cashier when I noticed she put 5 oranges on the scanner.

5 oranges?

no. no, wait a minute. I know he wouldn't buy FIVE oranges.

I dug and dug and dug on the belt and...of course, found the sixth.

*sigh o' relief*

later in the evening (about 20 minutes after we should've been asleep)...I started mumbling about those oranges and launched into a (very sleepy) fruit monologue.

oranges - never three. never five. two, four or six.

apples - minimum four. any less is sacrilige.

pears - multiples of three. perhaps its the bulbous shape that fits so neatly into itself inverted???

bananas - five. three in the back, two up front. if you live in a multiple banana eater household...you can go so high as seven (two in the back, three in the middle, two up front). but never equal numbers of nanners in both rows.

cucumbers - two.

onions- more than four and you need your head examined.

squash and zucchini - three each, yellow and green.

one pineapple. one melon. and one container of either:

-strawberries
-blueberries
-or raspberries

unless you plan on making a fruit tart. then you can buy all three...with prior permission.

so, I'm going on and on and on...not realizing oqui is either awake or not ignoring me when he bursts out laughing.

cackling, really.

I felt a little violated. dood. you're supposed to be asleep. this is MY fruit beta. not for yours, buddy.

still laughing.

when he gets ahold of himself he says that next time he'll pick the produce.

ahhh, I'm thinking. ok. he's finally listening to me about the food thing. trying to get involved. help out.


nope. he says he's going to buy two apples, seven pears, one banana and four melons.


four melons???

w...wwww..well, that's just fucked up.


WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO WITH FOUR MELONS???


speaking of fruit: I have a (slightly askew) lump in my belly about the size of a grapefruit.

I'm thinking we'll need to rename it. 'the sprout' may no longer do the job.

since we've been referring to it in terms of citrus fruit (oh, look! it's as big as a lime. now it's a lemon...orange...grapefruit...)

perhaps we'll have to start calling it squirt.



in other other other news:

I climbed outside this weekend. my regular harness is officially being retired until post-baby. I'm ordering a full body harness (hundred and twenty bucks!!!).

we got there late, so all the 'warm up ropes' were long gone. I ended up warming up on a 10.b. not too shabby, actually.

I'm still strong (believe it or not) and could crank all the moves. I just needed to clip into every damn bolt and let my heart rate drop from about 3,000 before moving on.

I did a 9/10 and alot of sitting...and called it a day. my harness was just too sketchy squeezing on the sprout/squirt.

felt GOOOOOD to be out, though.

magical, really.

I figure I'll get at least two months...maybe three outta that expensive harness...

and maybe stop moping for a little while.


wouldn't that be nice? :-d