nope.
can't.
it boils down to nothing but a countdown for me at this point. I am taking the "you'll feel better after the first trimester" to a whole new level.
5 weeks. 2 days. 2 hours. 12 minutes.
that's how long I should have to wait before feeling human, again.
if it's any longer than that, I vow to you now...
I will absolutely, categorically, without question...
fucking kill myself.
not to say that feeling like stir-fried ass isn't interesting and all...but I'd much rather be able to poo, eat, walk, converse normally and smile, again.
yeah, yeah. it's worth it. yeah, yeah...hormones doing their job. yeah, yeah...for the baby.
yada yada.
I know. why do you think I haven't offed myself, yet? I did, however, have a lil napmare yesterday that kinda involved self-harm. ok. it involved straight up self-harm...but it was unintentional, I swear.
I was so bloated and bowel distended and...you get the point...that I had a dream that I woke up stabbing myself in the abdomen.
of course, they hauled me off to the loonie bin for trying to kill the bebbie...
when really...I was just trying to take a poo.
while this particular idea manifested itself in the form of a bad dream...I'm not so certain it precludes it from being a good idea.
if things don't start, shall we say...moving along of their own volition...
it might come down to the knife.
in other news:
my students are still boneheads.
my daughter is getting two c's (I just might end up using the knife on HER).
the 'pah is still unemployed.
and I can still smell EVERYTHING as if it were in ultra condensed form, formed into a pellet and shoved up my nose.
3 comments:
zzzzzzztttttt. nice post, I'm not very tolerant of C's either unless they are followed up by other monumental forms of positive behavior.....No one ever asked me "what;s it like being a parent... being I still think I amm a teenager, never did homework, was bored at school, thought about girls, guitars and bikes all of the time......
how do I get invited to your IO blog anyway?
does it count that she isn't on drugs or pregnant, herself?
nope.
the c's are gonna get her ass kicked and destroy her summer.
as for the Io blog...I've never contributed there and I believe Io only made one post.
I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to figure how to give permissions to it.
we're lazy.
well,
I believe good behavior is inherent and developed in a way. Not everyone is able to excersize good behavior it's sometimes, just not a possibility with some people y'know?
But on the other hand, straight A's and being a terroris also unacceptable in my house, so.. hmm.
I look at it as a balance, if C's are where she is at right now, challenge her, yeah the behavior is wonderful, but hey that's what we all should be excercising so it's not up there on the chart as a "But I stay out of trouble/ get out of jail free card"
If she's capable of elevating her grades, then she can and more than likely will. One of my Girls is a straight A student, she slipped down to B's this last report card and I had to ask her what was up. Even though I knew why she slipped. So, My wife and I cut out some of the Texting, confiscated the phone during homework/study times and basically just told her what we expected of her, knowing she could acheive higher grades. If she though a B was good enough, she though wrong.
Teenagers have tons of distractions and tend to take the wrong fork in the road sometimes, not that you don't know this but if she;s a good girl and slacked off a little, well that's sometimes a product of winter and she'll figure out how to handle it, she's smart.
I am not a good example of being a stellar student, but I try to stress the importance of focusing on tasks when young versus trying to figure it out when you're... not young. They get seem to understand where I'm coming from.
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