glue feet

I'm sleeping too much. I'm waking up in the (beginning) middle (and near end) of the night, heart racing, with all sorts of nightmares.

last night...was glue feet.

I'll spare you the trully boring details (like the 8ft blonde who jipped me in line and almost got her 6 foot hair cut off)...but the jist was thus:

when I needed to run from the bad guys (in the form of rather menacing UGLY and horny teenagers in a dark alley)...

I got glue feet.

couldn't move. incapable of fleeing. stuck...to the emmer effing ground.

oh NO you didn't!

that pissed me off even in the dream.

so I tried to climb. I managed to climb a tiny tree with all the grace of a brown bear...only to end up breaking the limb and landing (wrapped in saran wrap) by the bad guys' feet.

great. I'm gonna get nailed in my own dream by some pimply faced loser boy.

stellar.


the night before last graced me with a werewolf baby, blue skin and a complimentary trip on the maiden voyage of the titanic.

several others include losing my car (literally...just LOSING it. not being able to find it. this one was PARTICULARLY frustrating), the eternal journey from north 10th st to south 10th st that always threatened me with a beating, mugging, or rape via drug dealer, and my dogs' asses opening up and swallowing my bedroom whole.

they stink. they really really stink.

remember months back when I was uber offended by the pregnant chick who came through my house and made a yicky face?

yeah. I'm thinking of writing her an apology note.

these dogs fucking reek. I feel like I live in a (dirty) hamster cage.

no one will EVER buy this house unless I kill the dogs.


so...today's to-do list begins as such:


-kill the hamster dogs
-stop sleeping so fucking much